Getting Married is not always fun and games

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Hi guys, as you all know, I have been absent from SM for a while now. I have to say when i said that I was gonna take a break, i received such encouraging comments. At the time, it didn’t really lift my spirit. But thinking about it now, i realise what a great support system I have in my life. Not only my family, friends and obviously fiancé, but also my social media family.

I’ve been mentioning how weird it is when people stop me and ask about the wedding plans, or an event I attended or something I posted on SM. I wanted to stop sharing personal posts, because it really is an uncomfortable feeling when someone you have never seen in your life, knows you more than some friends do. But then I also realised that it is just because people care so much for me. And to think, I am only a face you see on your Facebook timeline, yet there is so much love for me. WOW. #speechless

So with that being said, I decided to tell you guys what I have been through. Maybe it could even be inspiration for you if you are going through a tough time. Maybe I could help you not make a decision that could have been detrimental to whatever plans you currently have.

So here goes:

As you all know Kevin and I are engaged… see the post that went viral >here<

Because we have been together for 8 years, we didn’t want to wait long before getting married, and with a busy wedding season schedule, you can just imagine choosing a date was very difficult. Because we are having a Garden Wedding at a family member’s house, we didn’t want to get married in the rainy season, and with dates booked up, the only date available was the 8th of October. Yep. It gave us a little more that 4 months to plan this wedding, which was okay an
d exciting and all of that.

Because I was busy with so many brides, it didn’t feel like I was getting married, and apart from all the wedding planning itself, I had little time to spend with Bridesmaids so the feeling couldn’t really sink in.

In between it all, I received quotes and made my choices for what suppliers I wanted to use as we all do. Because it’s not a wedding venue, we obviously have to rent all chairs, tables, cloths, napkins, glasses ect. from an outside source. The whole idea was to go with something very plain and simple so it will be easy to set up and clean up, less fuss, less drama, less money wasted on “tier-lang-teintjies”. Well so i thought…. What I also thought was going for the most affordable quote is always the best option to save money… but that is not the case at all!

I was always calm and collected, because of course I had ideas of ways I wanted things, but was very flexible as I know being in this industry, a picture can never be brought to life completely. Sometimes you have to lower your expectations to avoid dissapointments.

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It wasn’t until 2 weeks ago where everything just started going wrong. After putting my complete trust into the company who was going to supply us with tables, chairs, napkins, cloths, glasses, decor, draping and you name it. It was one horrific experience that followed, from mockups being postpones 3 times, arriving 2.5 hours late, with almost nothing for the mock up just to come to understanding that they never had the things we asked for, and now 3 weeks before the wedding it becomes our responsibility to outsource table cloths and napkins. This soon lead to arguments, waiting for a contract to be emailed still and a phone being dropped in my ear, which also lead to no supplier for our wedding. I was in a state! After searching high and low for other suppliers on such short notice, with the help of family, I was connected to a lovely lady in the North who was so accommodating and helpful and super professional. Although they do not do set up, so I was left with finding the nitty gritty detailed stuff which I had no clue about, and also getting people together to assist on the day.

Just as I thought things were starting to fall in place again, my DJ let me know his mom passed away and he wouldn’t be able to do my wedding anymore. What? Are you kidding me? Another person dropping me? I understand the situation though, so please do not think I am insensitive, but the whole idea of finding a DJ for the same affordable price who could offer me the same as my DJ was a nightmare on it’s own. And there we were at it again. Getting quotes, trying to find good Dj’s on such short notice was so difficult. Trying to find someone who is good and affordable was like mission impossible. Eventually after everyone jumped in getting quotes left right and centre, I found someone, finally!

And then to top it all, my Business Phone decided to go and crash. All my clients info, quotes, whatssapp conversations, photos, EVERYTHING! Just gone!…… then there are so much more than just mentioned that I had to deal with….#breath #keepcalm

I have realised that even when you plan on doing things simple and plain. It never goes as planned. This is earth, and people die everyday, some lie and cheat, some are unprofessional and unreliable and some are just rude. But apart from that there are also people that are sincere, understanding, loving, compassionate, caring, willing, able, helpful, available and professional. I have to learned to be calm and accept things that might not work out. If you could have seen me the past two weeks, you wouldn’t have liked the person I was. I cried constantly, lost 3 kg’s in one week while walking around with constant saucer eyes and a pounding heart. Snapping at everyone and just not feeling excited about anything.

Then this morning it hit me so hard…. People can let you down, and disappoint you. They can hurt you, and stab you in the back. But God…. wow… God never lets us down. We have the chance of getting hurt when we put our trust in people, but putting your trust in God is knowing things will work out for the better. God wants the best for us I believe. And even though everyone told me it’s better all of this happened before the wedding and not on the day, it was difficult to take it to heart and feel happy about it. But today, spending time with God has really made me realise how faithful He is, and that He intervened and pulled me out of a situation that I wouldn’t have been able to, as He could see what was ahead of us. #thankful

Getting Married is not always fun and games. I see a lot of Brides focus so much on the flower that is not open, or the marzipan on the cake which is one shade too dark. They freak out because the venue placed the wrong underplates, or they cry their eyes out because the dress is too long now or whatever. At the end of the day, they are so consumed by the idea of the Perfect Wedding, the colour scheme, the ultimate dress and all of that, that they forget that all of these things are only for one day? Shouldn’t you be more excited about just saying YES to your fiance, and not care about anything else? Because in actual fact all of those other things are not really that important?

Getting Married is about becoming one with your Soulmate. Vowing to become a partner for life. Sealing a covenant before God. Preparing yourself to be a husband/wife for the years to come for the rest of your life.

See the thing is that society blows up this whole wedding thing and brides are now focused more on how to make their wedding bigger and better than the rest. Who spends the most money? Who had the prettiest dress. And it keeps them so busy that they do not realise that they should be preparing themselves for their husband to be, knowing for sure that this is the person you will be spending the rest of your life with, a covenant sealed before God, not to be broken. So now everyone is so consumed with this perfect day, they take their focus off God and the vows they agree to, and years later when the going gets tough, a lot of couples decide to go their separate ways, comfortably forgetting the promises made to each other and God.

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And yes, the last 2 weeks I was that Bridezilla, so consumed in all the drama around the wedding, I took my calm and peaceful nature and threw it to the ground as I shifted my focus away from God, and everything felt like it was a disaster. This morning I stood up and said: “NO! I will not be that person! I want to enjoy every moment, I want to lift my eyes to the One who gave it all, gave me this opportunity to even host a celebration of our marriage, the One who gave me this life partner and the One who saves me out of every situation where I think nothing can help me now. Jesus! You are so faithful. “You see me in the fire, reaching out with open hands. You found me on my knees, fill me with Your peace again. Forever I am loved. Freedom reigns in me”

So if you are getting married? I hope this post changed your perspective on things, and how you plan your wedding. Don’t always take the first best quote, or the most affordable option, speak to people, ask for references, ask for advise. Be okay with it when something does not work out, even if it might seem like a big issue , but most of all never shift your focus from God. Pray about every decision, and prepare yourself for the real reason of this day.

I hope I can inspire you and give you hope.

Lots of Love

Let’s get married people!!!!! :)

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Photos by Tanya Kinnear

Dress by Dashing Fasion

 

Kandy Kane

One thought on “Getting Married is not always fun and games

  1. Jessica says:

    This was so beautiful and true to read.
    My fiance and I postponed our wedding once. We also wanted the garden wedding thinking it would be cheaper but after working it out and all the work that would need to be done, it was not worth it. And due to many restrictions things were becoming so stressful and I spent every day worrying and it started to consume my life. I forgot the whole point of the day. The postponing was a difficult decision but the best one we made. I put my trust in God that He would help us get to where we want and need to be. And this time round things are going a lot more smoothly.
    A year later and we are set to get married the 10th of December! Things are working out well!
    Every wedding has its ups and downs but the best is to take it with a pinch of salt and rather enjoy the day. :) Like you say, not everything can be perfect!

    Best of luck with the rest!
    xxx

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